Being in a relationship for the first time or with someone you really like can be an exciting and scary thing at the same time! You're probably feeling new emotions and you might be having sexual feelings and be starting to think about having sex too. It's an exciting time but there are some things to think about. It can be difficult to decide whether it's the right time for you to have sex. You should know that whatever anyone else might say, the decision to have sex for the first time or anytime is YOURS. It might feel ok to do it or it might not feel ok. You need to trust your instincts and do what is right for you.
Sex and the law
Sex can be a wonderful thing, if you are ready to become sexually active. If you are not ready, then it can have some severe consequences including emotional problems, sexually transmitted infections, and even unintended pregnancy. There are several ways that you can determine if you are ready to start having sex. If you decide that you are ready for sex, you will need to discuss concerns and expectations with your partner and make a plan for protecting yourselves. Doing these things will help to ensure that your first time will be safe and enjoyable. Since having sex can result in getting an STI or pregnant, talk to a trusted person like a counselor or older sibling who can answer all your questions. You should also take steps to protect yourself by visiting a doctor or health clinic to discuss your birth control options. For more advice from our Co-author, including how to talk to your partner before having sex for the first time, read on! Did this summary help you?
Relationships & Sex
At one point or another, I promise you that everyone has felt the way you do—and your feelings are completely normal, valid, and fair. TL;DR: Everyone has pre-sex jitters no matter how much chill they seem to have, and honestly, you should totally embrace the awkwardness. But just so you can make your first time as pleasurable as possible, here are some tips from sex therapist Vanessa Marin and psychotherapist Nicole Tammelleo. Talking about sex with a new partner is a must. And don't worry, you don't have to bring up this convo the moment you match with someone on Tinder, but you should bring it up before you take that trip to pound town, says Engle. Tammelleo says this is especially important the first time you have sex with a new partner. Whether it's your first or fiftieth time having sex, the worst thing you can do is go into it with the assumption that you know everything about what your partner wants.
Whether you've never had sex at all, or you're considering having sex with a new partner, there are a few things you may want to consider. Many of us are unfortunately under-educated or misinformed about sex because of the poor curriculums at most schools, making it all the more difficult to gauge when would be a healthy time to consider taking this intimate step. The fact is, so much goes into the decision: the timing, the location, your mental state, and most importantly: the person you're planning to do it with. Obviously this is all a lot to consider and things don't always go as planned — hence why we have an entire post dedicated to girls sharing what they wish they'd known before having sex for the first time. More than anything, though, you want to feel ready. But what does that mean? We turned to 7 experts for their insight on the subject to help guide you through. Herein, all they had to say. The right time is when it aligns with your your personal values, life goals, relationship goals, and emotional and physical needs.