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The point of a date is to get to know someone better. In many ways, she was everything that I ever wanted in a spouse, but in other ways she was not what I ever expected. Long story short, everyone is dead on. By those standards, I was a failure, my husband wasn't "good enough" - and my daughter had ambitious real goals that required a lot of time and effort. Reconciling this with the doctrine of temple marriage is trickier. Is he aware that if your children are faithful members of the church they might end of marrying in the temple and he would not be allowed to attend the ceremony.
Having said that, I believe strongly that it takes a special individual who can remain active in the church and have a non-traditional marriage. She might be everything you want, but in her eyes you are not what she has been dreaming of her whole life. She will be pressured and will likely shut you out. I have a tendency to be overly sensative emotionally and the trauma of being forced to choose between someone I love and want to spend the rest of my with and Eternal Mormon Celestial Salvation caused me extensive emotional damage that I have struggled with ever since. As for me, I recall spending a lot of Sundays at sporting events with my dad. I would do it all over again and thank my lucky stars that I found this man, that he loves, and that I love him. Accept yourself, and feel God accepting you, and everything else will follow. A grandpa sense of humor and occasional clever line from an old movie go a long way. Even selfish at times. If this is the case, she definitely can be reprogrammed and awakened.